He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
