Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
