I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
