I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
