It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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