my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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