things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
