He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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