Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
