You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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