The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
