I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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