I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
