If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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