i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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