What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize