turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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