I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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