btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize