ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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