I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
