I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
two words...techno handjob
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
