i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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