we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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