very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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