She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
