She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Floor bacon is actually really good
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
