Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
