just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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