I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
