Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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