i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
