1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
