sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
