my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
