Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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