Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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