I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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