make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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