Sry I called you an 8
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
