I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
