just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
