I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
