glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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