NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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