Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
