Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
