dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
