It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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