Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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