how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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