You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
