there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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