Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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