Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
