if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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