it wasn't lemon gatorade
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
