I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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